But back to the point of the blog - earlier today I went to the gym, when I got back home nothing on TV was tickling my fancy so I decided to watch a whole heap of vlogs. You know what it's like once you get on you tube, one video turns into ten and before you know it you've been sat for hours watching them lol. Anyway, I came across a podcast type of vlog where a group of men and women discussed and debated common 2016 questions. One of these was 'should a man pay on the first date'. It had me hooked because I couldn't believe how deep men and women actually look into it. One of my favourite sayings is 'it's not that deep' but boy oh boy it is! Strap yourselves in because if you're anything like me you'll love hearing all the different angles people come from with this question.
I'll start with my personal opinion - I'm all for equality and part of that means that we can't pick and choose when we should be equal with a man and when we shouldn't. I personally think that a man should never be expected to pay the full bill, to me that's hypocritical because as women we strive to be equal to men. I would never in a million years go on a date with a man and bring no money because I'm EXPECTING him to pay and I'd never not see a man again because he didn't pay. (don't get me wrong dating can be pricey as hell so it would be nice if he did)
So, when a man doesn't pay I wouldn't knock any points off him (yes in my head I have a little check list - we all do to a degree.. I think) but when he does pay especially on the first date (boys take note) he gets a whole heap of brownie points just as boys would give girls brownie points for paying. It's a two way thing and that's what some women fail to see. Boys, although we want equality we also still want a little chivalry - a gentleman. Hold the door open for us, maybe pay for the first meal, pull our chair out for us. In contrast to that, men probably want a women that will break the typical cycle and pay for them.
Back to the vlog I watched, one of the girls was adamant that a man should always pay for the first date no matter what. Her argument was that if a man's ran her down and wants her time then he better know that he's paying! If he didn't, she'd pay but never see him again! It was a huuuuge turn off for her. Now for me, that's a little far (but maybe I just can't afford to be so picky lol)
Another woman was saying that if the man asked her out for a first date then she'd 100% expect him to pay, but if she asked him then she'd 100% pay - and to be honest I can kind of back this point. One woman was also saying (and I agree with this so much) that if a man doesn't pay on the first date that she'd question what kind of relationship he wants from her. She'd think that all he wanted was her body because he's not willing to make that effort to impress her. Definitely agree.
Now for the men's perspectives! Ladies, the men thought deep about this! They were saying that the majority of the time they would always pay even if they weren't feeling the girl because they just wouldn't feel right letting the woman pay and because if they did like the woman they'd want to impress her. (kinda cute) But, if a woman didn't even make the gesture of at least showing her purse or pulling out the money then they'd question the date. Apparently (and to be honest this shocked me a bit) there's girls out there that will go to a club with NO money what so ever and 'finesse' a man - end up getting drunk for free, and get home for free. So, to them if you didn't even grab your purse how can they distinguish you from the 'finessers'?
They were also saying that they understand the whole gentleman thing and understand that that's ultimately what most women want but they were offended that some women wouldn't even consider a second date if the man didn't pay for the first one. Their argument was that they're man enough to know that it's good will to pay without a woman hinting it to them. (makes sense to me)
They were also saying that if they paid for the first few dates without the women paying for any then the women were asking for the relationship to fail before it had even begun. Dating can be expensive, so if one week or one month was a bit tight for them then even if they wanted to see the girl they couldn't because they knew that she wouldn't pay!
Everyone will have their own opinion, these kind of questions get me thinking a little so I thought I'd blog it. Hope you enjoyed!
xxx
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